As the novel Coronavirus continues to rise in its effect on our daily lives, our families, friends, our jobs and basically every aspect of our existence, you, much like me, just might be yearning for human interaction now more than ever before. As much as I am an introvert, I hate the restraints, although I know they are necessary for our safety. SO PLEASE do all that you can to stay safe and keep those safe around you!
In the meantime, I am sure there are a number of people who are talking, texting, facetiming, zooming, and ALLAAT in order to stay connected. Some of us are sliding in DM's, shooting our shots, or making connections with people we otherwise wouldn't have in a different circumstance. Feeling like we may not have another chance has got some of us out here taking chances!
That's okay. I am human just like you and I GET IT. I ain't to saved, sanctified or holy to admit that I want and desire genuine intimate connection. That connection varies for all of us, some want family connection, mentorship connections, networking connection or romantic connections and now is the opportune time! What do you do when you want that romantic connection? Maybe there is someone you have been interested in but you don't know what to say. You've probably engaged in some conversation here and there with this person, but every time you talk you get nervous. If you're anything like me, then yea, you get super nervous. And while in any other situation the words flow like water, in this case, every other response makes you feel like . . .
This is my real life y'all smh lol. Sometimes the nerves overpower you and you think that you have nothing else to say. So you pull the ULTIMATE MISTAKE we all seem to make when we are at a loss for words. We ask this question too many times in one setting . . .
Have you ever been "What you doin'?" TO DEATH!!! Like every 10 minutes someone of interest is asking you "what you doin?". Has anyone ever asked "what you doin" SO MANY TIMES to the point that you wanted to throw your phone!
(For dramatic purposes only lol. Please don't throw your phone, EVER!). There's been plenty of times that I actually decided to just cut a conversation short via text, facetime or phone call because I ran out of answers to "What you doin'?". I would literally be doing the same thing I was doing 5 MINUTES AGO. I have since realized that some people ask this question because they want to connect but they just don't know how to. It may be nerves, excitement, dependence on the other person to lead, etc. Whatever it is, it's annoying and can honestly cut the opportunity to genuinely connect with someone short. With that being said I have constructed a list of 25 questions you can ask aside from "What you doin'?" when trying to get to know someone!
Now, BEFORE YOU start using these questions I have to let you know, this is for people who genuinely want to get to know someone. If you are talking to people just to having something to do or you're asking questions just to hear yourself speak, this list IS NOT FOR YOU.
It doesn't matter if you are making a platonic or romantic connection these questions are crafted for people who must ACTIVELY LISTEN and actually engage in fruitful dialogue. You don't have to use all of them at once. Asking one might just be enough for you all to dive into deep conversation. Go with the flow and see what works for you! Without further or due. Here are
25 Questions to ask other than "What you doin'?"!
What do you value most in your friends?
What are your non-negotiable boundaries and what led you to create them?
Can you describe yourself in terms of food?
Do you have a calling on your life?
What risk would you take if you knew you wouldn't fail?
What do you try to keep an open mind about?
What's the wildest thing you've ever done?
Who/what influenced your life the most?
What do you love most about yourself?
What do you still think has a double standard?
Who's your favorite family member and why?
When you find someone physically attractive, what's the first thing you notice?
What relationship or friendship do you regret ended?
What is your favorite mantra, quote or scripture?
What is your love language?
What are 5 things you are grateful for?
Have you ever lied your way out of a bad situation, what?
What did your last relationship teach you about yourself?
What did your current relationship teach about yourself?
What was the topic of the worst argument you've ever had?
How's your family doing?
What is your solid foundation?
What TV shows make you laugh the most?
What do you do for fun?
Beyond the titles that others have given you, who are you?